It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish – or is it?

Bring me the head of Richard Scudamore

Bring me the head of Richard Scudamore

Is the sequence of clubs and points differential defined in the current Premier League table the one which would satisfy most fans – something of which Jeremy Bentham would approve?

Barclays Premier League Table

 
Team P W D L F A GD Pts
Last updated 9 days ago
Arsenal 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Aston Villa 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Burnley 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Chelsea 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Crystal Palace 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Everton 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Hull 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Leicester 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Liverpool 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Man City 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Man Utd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Newcastle 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
QPR 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Southampton 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Stoke 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Sunderland 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Swansea 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Tottenham 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
West Brom 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
West Ham 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

 

So Arsenal win the title, and Tottenham get relegated. There is no sequence which could possibly satisfy the fans of both clubs and Arsenal have the larger fan base. This would constitute their dream season.

Villa and Burnley fans will be ecstatic over their Champions League finish. Prince William and Alastair Campbell equally happy – which can’t have happened too often.

Chelsea at least get in to the Champions League, and miss out on the title on goal difference – the gob on Mourinho would be worth a look.

Palace fans would accept their second best ever season – Tony who?.

Everton always finish sixth.

Hull and Leicester will be perfectly happy with a top-half finish.

Fans of Liverpool, Man City and Man Utd will be distraught. However fans of all other clubs would be delighted and there are in total far more of them – something of which Stalin was aware. 

Newcastle fans enjoy being (well, certainly looking) disappointed, and can console themselves that one place behind Man Utd wasn’t so bad.

QPR, Soton, Stoke, Sunderland and Swansea will all be delighted to avoid the drop and in most instances surprised.

Tottenham we’ve already dealt with.

West Brom and West Ham fans both know it’s coming, and at least they had a chance at the last game of the season.

What’s not to like?

Thanks to Pete Smith for all the best bits of this post.

 

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